Lesson Learned

Ok - so I am trying to get rid of our swingset.  It is old, it is wearing out, it is time for a new one. Besides, summer is almost over, the kids don't play on it much once school starts and I am certainly not moving this worn out set to Nashville if that is indeed where we are headed in May.

So I posted it on Craigslist with this picture:

David is out of town and I am only thinking how cool it would be to show him the bare spot where it used to be when he gets home. One less chore he has to worry about. I had 10+ responses in about an hour.  I said it was FREE to whoever would take it apart and haul it away.  So I pulled the post and started emailing people back.  Played email and phone tag with the first guy but he finally came around 5:30 - - - only to say he didn't want it after all. UGH!!!!

So I move on to the 2nd email.  Finally connect with them and they say yes, they will come get it the next day (as it is 7:00ish by this time) but can they see the picture one more time so they know what they are working with and bring the right tools, etc.  So I send the pic via email and also give them my home address.  After that I get one more email asking what part of town I live in - which strikes me as odd since I just gave them my address which they said they were plugging into a GPS and I had already mentioned the town and general area in a previous email ...... After that last email I never heard from them again.

My neighbor across the street calls to ask if any more Craigslist people are coming over to look at the swingset. (I had asked her to come over when Person A stopped by)  I tell her one other person is interested but they won't come by until tomorrow. She then proceeds to tell me all about this couple at the church who, years ago, were selling their car.  The wife was home, someone came by to look at the car - shoved her in the car and took off with her and she was never found.  REALLY?!  You tell the pregnant gal across the street who's husband is out of town this story right as the sun is setting?  REALLY?!?!?!?

So then I start to get creeped out.

My mind starts going .....

While I was trying to send the picture of the swingset to Person B - my spyware went nuts and shut down and my computer froze. After it gets dark and I am sitting alone in the family room I decide Person B was hacking my email and now knows everything about me.  In the most recent mystery novel I finished just the day before one character, a computer hacker, mentioned how Facebook was just the best password directory.  I now start thinking about how I use the same password for just about everything.  I get up from the couch and change my facebook password. (my email password is unique to that email)

Then I think back to Person A and how he was asking if my house was brick on all sides.  I have now decided he is asking this so he knows which incendiary device to bring back with him in the dark of night when he attacks my house. (did I mention that the mystery novel had terrorists in it?)  I also remember how the daughter commented on the mammoth size of the dog next door (and really, he is more like a miniature horse) and I remember how I told her he is huge but such a sweetie.  I even pointed out how he was wagging his tail! And the wife commented on how lovely our backyard was and how private it was, backing up on an empty field and all. I gush about how much we love the privacy. I am now firmly convinced I have pretty much invited these people to come back to rob, pillage, plunder and destroy .......

And then what is up with Person B?  The original email supposedly came from a girl with 4 kids.  But then all of a sudden it's "her" "boyfriend" who is calling me and asking for my address. 4 kids and a boyfriend?  Great - just fab - she is either a crack whore and this guy is her pimp OR "she" never existed but was really Danny all along who is really a computer hacker who has accessed all of my files and knows I am pregnant, my husband is out of town, I have 3 daughters and also exactly how much money is our accounts.

I am THIS close to texting my husband and begging him to cut his guy's weekend short and come home.  Seriously .....

But I know he's out at a bar two hours away.  He'd never get here in time to save me from these diabolical characters I have created or worse yet - he'll either die in a car wreck or end up in jail with a DUI.

So I try to watch TV.  It's Family Movie Night sponsored by Walmart and P&G.  That should be innocuous, right? WRONG!  No violence but it's about a dad who is a spy who needs to be rescued from the bad guys.  I watch some recordings of 19 Kids and Counting instead.  I flip back to regular TV only to see that Law and Order SVU is starting.  Sweet Mercy - I could not find that dang remote fast enough.  Ok - so it's decided - no TV......

So instead .....
I turn on a zillion lights.  The lamp in the family room, a small light in the kitchen, another small lamp in the formal living room and the hanging lantern in Audrey's bedroom.  (the girls are sleeping in the basement)  I also turn on the light by the mailbox (which is on every night anyway) our front porch light and the light on the back deck. 
AND THEN
I shove the couch all the way in front of the back door that opens on to the deck.

I check every lock about twenty times and then decide I should go to bed.

But that brings up another problem. 

The girls are in playroom in the basement.  My room is upstairs.  Do I dare sleep that far from them or should I sleep in the guest room in the basement? If someone breaks in where will they go first?

My husband is a card carrying member of the NRA and devoted, more than most, to protecting our 2nd amendment rights.  In fact his guy's weekend is actually the All Thompson Show and Shoot and the "Thompson" refers to the Thompson Machine Gun or Tommy-Gun.  Soooooo anyway - there are 2 loaded shot guns hidden in  the house. Before you go crazy - the girls have been drilled in gun safety since the day they were born.  They do not know where these guns are nor are they going to accidentally stumble on them. And if they do - they KNOW they are NOT to touch them.

So back to my story.  I have never shot a gun in my life but now I am thinking ... do I sleep near a gun tonight?  Surely I could figure out how to work it.  Or do I sleep near the girls?  Maybe I should sleep in the guest bedroom in the basement and take a gun and hide it under the guest bed?

At this point I realize I have gone completely wheels-off crazy.  So I check all the locks again and head to bed.  I can't sleep.  I read my Bible for a while and then pick up a non-fiction book I started a while ago but never finished.  I read until midnight and then try to fall asleep while praying non-stop for God to surround my house with His protection. I'm thinking I got maybe 5 1/2 hours of sleep????

So the lesson here is -
Girls who are easily scared and yet love to read murder mysteries and spy novels should NEVER and I mean NEVER EVER post stuff on Craigslist when their husband is out of town .........