Jumping Into the Deep End

Ok, so if you have been reading here long enough you know that I am struggling with my weight. I have always struggled with my weight. The only time I was remotely "thin" was in college. When I went to college I lost the "freshman 15" instead of gaining it. I had no car, I went to the University of Texas, it is a HUGE campus, I had to walk all over for my classes. I couldn't afford to eat out, I had to eat in the dorms and I didn't like the dorm food so I ate ALOT of salad from the salad bar. On top of walking everywhere, we went out dancing 2-3 nights a week. And then there was that summer between sophomore and junior year. I still had no car, I was living at home walking to and from work every day, I jogged, and I was depressed as all get out, realizing the boy I was in love with was actually a womanizing creep.

After college I started steadily gaining. I still jogged but the weight started creeping back on. It was slow at first but by the time I was in my mid twenties I had gained about 20 pounds. In my eyes I still looked good but I could not get those numbers to go DOWN. I joined a gym. I managed to hold steady but still couldn't lose. I met David and we got engaged. When I met David I was up about 35-40 pounds from my college weight. I worked out like crazy, watched what I ate and by the wedding I was down about 15 pounds.

Married life, three kids, moving 1100 miles from friends and family and well --- my weight just isn't pretty. I'm not just "pleasantly plump" anymore - I am flat out FAT and I hate it. And it is even harder than ever to lose the weight this time. So I am walking with a neighbor or using the elliptical almost every weekday morning, I am doing sit-ups and crunches, I am trying to watch what I eat. And no, I am not perfect with the exercise and the diet but, I am pretty good and still - not much in the way of results.

So this weekend I did it, I jumped off the diving board and in to the deep end - - - I bought the Alli Starter Pack. I have heard all the horror stories about the side effects but I am DESPERATE at this point! Today is my first day. I haven't taken a pill yet but I am about to. The starter kit has 60 pills and you can take up to 3 pills a day, one before each meal. If I do that, It will only last me 20 days. So I am going to start off with 2 pills a day, one before lunch and one before dinner. I've got 6 Slim Fast shakes left so I'll use those for breakfast for now.

Oh how I hope I see results this time. Real results - not just 2 or 3 pounds. Ultimately I want to lose 50 pounds. Yes, you read that correctly - FIFTY POUNDS. But for right now, I am shooting for 20. And oh, how joyful I would be, If I could lose a quick 10 before the Mother-In-Law gets here on the 24th!!!!! I'll be sure to blog and let you know how it goes ......