How well do you know your neighbors?

Ok, how many of you watched Desperate Housewives last week? You know, the one where the narrator chick was talking about each neighbor and revealing their dirty little secrets ....

I swear I feel like I am LIVING IN THAT EPISODE lately.

To start -

My neighbor's house was stormed by police and FBI last year. We're talking bullet proof vests, guns out, cops on radios going down their driveway and gathering on the back deck. Guys in suits getting out of those unmarked-but-we-know-they-are-"unmarked"-so-really-how-unmarked-are-they cars and going to the front door. Long story short - he was convicted for drug trafficking - heroin and cocaine. Rumor has it he was a BIG TIME dealer and got a lesser sentence by pleading guilty and snitching on other dealers. Well he came home Thursday. Yup - so thrilled to have the convicted drug dealer that snitched on his dealer friends back next door to me. THRILLED I tell you!

He came home Thursday. The day Audrey headed back to school after being sick for 2 days. The night of parent observation at the dance studio (having Audrey and Amy's classes on the same night at the same time is great EXCEPT when it's parent observation night). The night of Amy's parent-teacher conference (no worries there, it's just one more thing I have to get myself to). So yeah - I made sure I made it to to the "Wild Women of Welbourne" night.

Yup - you read that right "Wild Women of Welbourne". That's what they call these mommy happy hour type things that the neighborhood tries to hold once every other month or so ..... Yeah, it's dorky name ...... yeah it's a t-o-t-a-l-l-y cheesy. Yeah, I'm not overly chummy with the women who usually show up to these things BUT it had been a rough week, I'm still coming off David's hellacious work schedule and to top it off the CONVICT NEXT DOOR came home - so I went. I needed a drink!

So we're gabbing about this that and the other and conversation turns to the registered sex offender who lives in the neighborhood next to ours. How sad it is for his kids, how so many people didn't even know about it until way after meeting them, how nice the wife is .... the questions like "why is she still with him?" and "what exactly was it he did?"

Then I mention my lovely neighbor - some people knew, some people were totally caught off guard. So one gal says, "Is that what the sheriff cars were doing in the neighborhood last week?" I say no, there were police everywhere last year but none lately. And a small part of me wonders "What did I miss a week ago?"

Then Friday - it's cold, it rains alllll day so I spend most of my day doing thrilling chores like laundry and mopping the family room. Woo-hoo! Anyway, in one of my many upstairs/downstairs trips I notice a SHERIFF CAR outside. On my next trip I see TWO. So I call the neighbor across the street (the cars are parked in front of her house) to see if she's OK.

The police are actually at the house across from her (her house sits on a corner) The house that just went up for sale the day before. Apparently - it's a divorce and apparently it's getting nasty. Wife has a restraining order out on the husband. So my neighbor keeps watch out her window - I go back to laundry and mopping 'cuz Allison is napping and the older two aren't home from school yet but will be soon. Neighbor calls me back to tell me the cops took the oldest son (wife's son from a previous marriage) and husband. Both were cuffed. They were taken in separate cars. Hmmmmmm ..........

Another neighbor stops by after school. She's a friend. Her son is in 3rd grade with Audrey. Her daughter is in 5th grade and joined our American Heritage Girl troop this year. I had asked if I could buy Boyscout popcorn from her son so they were stopping by with the order form. ANYWAY - I tell her about the latest drama. She says she saw the sheriff cars when she was coming home from work and was curious. I tell her I'm wondering what kind of neighborhood I am living in and tell her about the comment the gal made at the Happy Hour party about seeing cop cars around a week or so ago. My friend then tells me about another family who's child has gotten involved with drugs and then, as you would guess, a bad crowd. So family is showing some tough love and has changed the locks on the house. Son tried to get in and family had him arrested.

Seriously?!?!? I swear my street sign doesn't say Wisteria but ..... I'm startin' to wonder .....