Only me .... part two .....

OK - so Jessica has already heard this story but I thought maybe I should blog it anyway - just so the rest of you can share in just a snippet of my the amazing irony in my life.

Let me start by saying I am not a mean person and I do love animals. That said - I am pretty much "done" with our cat. I love her but she is showing her age lately and my patience is wearing thin.

Martha Sue Kitty Kat is a precious sweet kitty that my friend Lesley and I rescued from life on the streets.  She appeared in our apartment complex back in 1996?  Someone had her as their pet and then moved and left her behind.  Another resident sort of kind of adopted her and they left her behind as well.  I felt awful for her so I took her in and had her spayed (after two litters of kittens mind you) and go her vaccinated.  When David and I fell in love and decided to get hitched in the summer of 1998 - I figured I'd bring her along - he already had cats anyway - what was one more?  Plus, how could I abandon her?  She'd already been "left behind" twice - I couldn't be the one to do it a third time.

But that was 1998 - it will be 2011 here in just a few weeks ..... Martha is our only remaining cat.  And I am so over the cat care thing.  I am done with forever sweeping up cat hair.  Done with scratched furniture and walls.  Done with cleaning her litter box every flipping day.  Done with switching out the entire litter and cleaning the whole box with bleach and then relining and refilling the litter box once a month. I am done with cat litter being tracked all over my laundry room and kitchen. Done with her deciding the litter box isn't pristine enough so she'll pee on my carpet or my silk curtains or anywhere else she darn well pleases. And now that she is old - oh it is even more "fun" my friends.  Martha has developed .... shall we say ... gastro-intestinal issues. You don't even want me to tell you what a treat that is to clean up after and how lovely it is to find that tracked all over the place. As a result, lucky me, I now get to sprinkle a pro-biotic powder on her food every day AND chase her around and try to shoot two antibiotics down her throat twice a day (she hates this, she gets the medicine more like once every 3 days instead) Martha also has thyroid disease.  So there's ANOTHER pill she gets twice a day but at least this one she eats out of her food .....

So anyway - after spending about $300 for the vet to tell me all about her ailments and hook me up with all the fun pills - we also got to schedule a follow up appointment, to the tune of $110 - to "see how she's doing".  By the time the follow up appt rolls around I have my mind made up.  If they so much as hint that there is something else wrong or if they tell me this atrocious litter box situation is here to stay indefinitely - I am going to ask them to spare me her any further pain and misery and put her down.

Yeah ... That plan didn't unfold quite like I thought it would ....

I walk in and the place is silent - no chipper nurse/receptionist to greet me - nothing.  Just hushed voices from the exam room area. And then I hear it - definite sniffling and snuffling.  At first I think - allergies - last time I was in she told me how some cats that come in set her allergies off and some don't.  But then I can tell - this sniffling is different.  And then there is the stuttered - trying to make myself stop crying - catch my breath sounds ---- coming from both of the receptionist/nurse girls.  OH GREAT!  Then there is sobbing.  OY!  Everyone is talking in whispers.  The one gal can barely tell me that they will be with me as soon as the room is available without totally losing it.

Yep - you guessed it - someone's cat just died - right there - in the exam room - the one I'm about to take Martha in to. Oh joy!

But it gets better.  The cat didn't "just die". He "took a turn for the worse" and from what I can piece together - they just put him to sleep!!!! Oh fabulous!  I can't go in there now and look like some horrible, cat killing bitch ... great!  Just when I had visions of coming back home after our Christmas trip to a CLEAN house that didn't reek of cat poop ...... Way to burst my bubble people!

And then - the best part -

The owner - the sweetest looking grandma you ever did see - walks out with the empty cat carrier!  She turns towards the exam room one last time and says "Goodbye baby!  Mommy loves you!" and then walks past me.  She tries to say good bye to the two gals at the front and all 3 of them can barely hold it together. SERIOUSLY!?!?! WHAT ARE THE ODDS?!?!?!

So they finally all get their emotions under control and go clean up the room for me and Martha.  When they finally take us back - the room STINKS!  I tell you - it smelled like DEATH!  GEEZ - could you not have sprayed some Febreeze or lit a candle or something?!?!?

So yeah - our $110 follow up turns into a $150 follow up as they give me more of the diarrhea medicine for her (and no, I don't tell them I still have 8 pills left from the last batch 'cuz my damn cat won't take them).  And they also sell me some "Obesity Management" food for her because she's gained over a pound in the 3 weeks since we were there last - stupid thyroid issues ....... The vet should call Monday with the results of her blood work and so help me - if they haven't found either A) the cat equivalent to the fountain of youth or B) something serious enough that THEY suggest putting her down ... so help me .......